Fly Me To The Moon

It was a Tuesday, and it was darn warm that day. I was wearing a thin cotton t-shirt but I was sweating cats and dogs. The blaring sun wasn’t helping either, but I had to be home before 2 so that I could have some home-cooked lunch before the next class. I walked myself home anyway despite the humidity, and swore along the way that I’d strip myself naked as soon as I’m reunited with my beloved bedroom.

After a simple meal of plain rice topped with omelette, I went for a hearty shower, making sure not to waste a single drop of the cold refreshing water missing my skin. It felt so good I wanted to stay in there forever, but then I remembered class.

While I was putting on my clothes with a lot of hesitation, my phone sounded with an annoying baby-ish voice, telling me I had incoming text message.

“You coming to class? D’you want me to pick you up?” said the text message.

I sniffed.

“I thought you’d never ask.” I wrote back and pressed the send button.

It was Alan. As much as I want to describe my relationship with him, I can’t. We’re classmates. He was new to the class, but only because he changed from another class earlier that semester. Along the way we became good friends, and things became very unclear afterwards. Maybe that’s what I think. Or, maybe that’s what I want myself to think?

So Alan picked me up 15 minutes before class started, and while he drove ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ started playing on the radio quite audibly. He would habitually turn down the volume every time I’m in the car with him because he knows I dislike loud blaring music in a vehicle. However, he loved debating how I like to listen to my iPod playlist on maximum volume with the earpieces plugged into my ears but can’t handle Frank Sinatra on full volume instead.

“That’s different. You know that’s different.” I said to him one time, but he chuckled amusingly.

“No it’s not. Frank Sinatra’s not even annoying compared to your heavy metal songs.”

“It’s not heavy metal, silly! It’s cinematic orchestral. And Frank Sinatra’s not even close compared to these masterpieces.”

“What if I put your songs on maximum volume on my radio instead? Would you tolerate that?” he asked. I admit, that got me thinking for a while, but then I simply assumed I’d never be able to tolerate anything loud that’s not inside my ears. The conclusion was simple: the closer something is to you, the louder they become. If they’re not close enough, they shouldn’t be loud. I told him that and he laughed at me, which resulted with me not sitting beside him in class that day.

This particular day, with ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ in the background, felt a little bit different. I don’t know what or why. Maybe because I’ve been thinking lately, and it has not given me any answers. I needed answers, but I’m afraid of them. It didn’t even have to be long. One Fly Me to the Moon song long would be enough, if only the answers were the ones I wanted to hear.

“I want to know something, but if I ask you then that would be odd.” I started carefully. I felt just calm, probably because I left all my self-pity in the shower while I was pondering over things. He glanced slightly towards me, then gestured me to continue with a “Hmm?” as he continued driving.

“Let me make this a rhetorical question then. We’re friends, but we’re more than just friends, aren’t we?”

It took him awhile to answer, and that made me nervous. Maybe I didn’t want the answer after all. Maybe it was better the way it was. Maybe I didn’t need one Fly Me to the Moon song for this.

Fill my heart with song

And let me sing forever more

You are all I long for

All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true

In other words, I love you.

I noticed that suddenly the song was loud and clear inside my ears. I did not notice when he turned the volume up. Or maybe I was just imagining things. The song ended as soon as he parked the car into one empty space nearby the faculty, and then he turned to look at me with a smile.

“Frank Sinatra’s not so bad now that you finally want to listen to it, do you?”

“Huh?”

“Maybe you were right. You can only hear things clearly if they are close enough.”

And I smiled too.